CASTLEHURST DUO TURN DOWN FASHION GIANT

Two of the Castlehurst management team yesterday turned down a lucrative contract with Armani. The duo, noticeable on the sideline because of their boyish good looks and rather large waist lines, had been lined up for the fashion houses' new multi million pound ad campaign. Mr Armani was over heard saying "Those two fat bastards are so god damn good looking! The women love them." They weigh in at just over a metric tonne between them and were once mistaken for a pair of sperm whales on a recent trip to Blackpool.
Phil Ryan, who was recently voted the sexiest man in the room at a convention for facially disfigured people, was said to be flattered by the offer, but firmly focused on getting Castlehurst into the big time (Sutton Division 3). He is also said to be concentrating on his career as the before picture in the Slimfast adverts.