OFFLOAD ATTEMPTS FAIL

Attempts to offload troubled midfielder Richard Cupples have so far failed. Despite each player offering £2000 of their own money to the club that agrees to take him we still have no takers. He has fell out of favour at the club since finally admitting his penchant for men's arses earlier in the year.

Richard Cupplets was unable to comment last as he was attending a Hen night. There has been some confusion on the team sheet of late as he often changes his name to Suzie on the weekend. Negotiations are continuing.

ABOVE: Richard leaving the Hen night late last night