CASTLEHURST TO GET NEW STADIUM

The Castlehurst board have just announced plans for a new 76,125 seater stadium to be built on the site of Arden Hall, also known as the field of dreams. The planned stadium will cost in the region of £275 million so please keep doing those soccer sixes.

We are currently looking for planning permission and have applied to the local Parish council. However we have been told that we need to settle our £200 deficit for this years pitch rental before they consider the application. The plans involve knocking down several houses within the local vicinity and there will also need to be a demolition of number 20A Freezely road in Shard End for technical reasons.

Below is a picture of what the new stadium will look like.



Our plans involve turning the Farthings Pub into a super Casino with a 7 star hotel on the side of it. The Bradford Arms will become a Stringfellows night club complete with dancing girls and the Croft, our HQ, will have another 42 floors built on top of it.

The decision to try for the new stadium/club village was made after the board saw Sunday’s unbelievable away support. There were no fewer than 9 Castlehurst fans pitch side for the defeat at Rectory Park.

No new stadium would be complete without a squad of especially good looking cheerleaders. If you know anyone who would fit the description of ‘especially good looking splitarse’ then direct them to the croft. Me and Danny will be holding private auditions all next week. Again for technical reasons, we do require the audition to involve the potential cheer leader ending up fully naked.