TOYS AND DUMMIES HAVE BEEN THROWN!!!

It has been an increasingly growing concern that from the first game of the season a few players have thrown there dummies out when they have either started on the dame judy or have been brought off during the game. Not naming no names but, David Parker, organised a friendly all by himself during the pre-season. Having confirming the KO time only the day before, David, forgot about the game and arrived 10 minutes into the second half. From a phone call to the old git, David blamed Baldwin for him not getting to the game, which consequently made David throw his dummy out and then retired. David was not available for comment!!!From this, the following statement was given by the management team: " I would kindly like to remind all players from Castlehurst FC, that the club is ran mostly for fun, enjoyment and also winning. Remember the feeling of the final? Only 11 players can start each game and three subs can be made. With the squad the size of Phil's waist line in metres, 17, the team will be picked fairly, including the three subs.
The management team of the 'Good Looking Fat Bastards' will pick the starting 11 which they feel is fair and also has the main element of winning the game, with the 3 subs being rotated each week. All players will have a fair crack at obtaining a starting place with their performances on the day of the game. If you don't start the game or do get taken off, please don't take it personally we have the best interests of all players and the team in mind.

I hope no players get offended by the statement, just bare it in mind. And any comments, please let the GLFB know.
Players will be pissed off by not playing, we know that, but we do have 17 players to think about and also winning games. Please accept it, as we all know Mr Cupples couldn't, and look where he went."

Lets look forward to winning games so we can celebrate the way we usually do by drinking copious amounts of slurp, taking part in the penguin dance, and also taking the piss out of each other, as we always do, here are a few shortened:
Loggy = Lincon Log Poo, Weaver = Pingu head, Horton = Pringle, Dodwell = Red Rum, Oggy = who NOSE?, Hubbocks = Clever, Arnold = Will Young, Tooney = Mr Wonderful, Griff = Mr Potato Head, Carl Mc = Big Mc, Elliott = Pretty Boy, Duncan = Munckfish, Grogan = Terry Wogan, Pinners = Noel Edmunds,Liono,Teen Wolf,Simba, Coffman = Orangutan, Lloydy = Kenneth Williams, Flinty = Squint, Baldwin = Good Lookin Fat Man, Phil = Good Lookin Neanderthal, Chris?? = Gurna, Dave = Sally Webster (Life long honourable member).