R.I.P CASTLEHURST FC

It pains me to say it lads, but Castlehurst FC is officially finished, over, finito, terminated, wrapped up, dead! You get the general idea.

Its a sad end to what was, after all still a glorious beginning. I cried like a baby the night we finally announced it was all over. My pillow was soaking wet!

After all, if I was a stranger reading this website over the months I would have thought that this club is going great guns. 3 months ago I wouldn't have even thought about the club folding. We were planning total domination of the Sutton & District Sunday league.

The reality finally dawned on me that we were going to fold when I was stood in the changing room with only 10 players ready to face top of the league, when someone suggested that I play. It's the end for any team that has to rely on me to put a kit on just to fill the starting places!

The blame for the demise lays solely at the feet of Richard Cupples & Tony Blair. I'm not sure why but they are usually to blame when things go wrong. Dick Cupples didn't help by demoralising the players every Friday with his tiresome tails about his incredibly small penis and his severe lack of body hair. And as for that Tony Blair. I've been fonder of some boils I've had on my arse than I have been of that fella. I'd sooner let Mark Hubbocks run the country than that tit. (Nothing to do with the football. I just don't like the fella!)

So this is the end of my girlish rants about how good we all are at football and how shite cupples is at everything. For some it will be sad but for most it will be "stick your Castlehurst.com up your bollocks we've got myspace now".

So until we start the team up again and keep it going till we all can't be arsed any more I bid you all goodnight and god bless.

PS Dave Parker did have to be resuscitated after the game against Castle Vale Jags but he came round after 2 days on a ventilator.